So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
