I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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