Me too!
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
