i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
