she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
