I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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