I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
