so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
