stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
