Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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