Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
