Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
