my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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