That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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