Someone shit on the floor
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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