I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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