I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
