I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
