Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
wow bdsm is so cute
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
