one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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