You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
