dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
