All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone shattered a urinal.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize