he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
