So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
