There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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