I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
