I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
