From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize