You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
