is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
You smell like stripper and shame
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
