At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
