New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
