Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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