that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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