how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
