Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
