I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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