My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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