I bet he comes in French.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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