My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
