he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
They should really pass out barf bags in church
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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