Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
