She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize