I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize