guys are not supposed to queef...right?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
