I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
