So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
sarcasm needs its own font
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize