Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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