This is not my ceiling
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
