Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
