I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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