p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
