***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
What did we do last night that was yellow?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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