i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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