I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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