Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
