ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
