So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
