Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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