I think I am morally bankrupt
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
