took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
